If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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