I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
