I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
