Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
