she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize