so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Houston, we have a blender
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
