this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
it's great music for shaving your balls
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
