Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
