I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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