I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Randomize
