you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
