but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
