you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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