my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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