Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Randomize
