Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Iāve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment š
Randomize
