i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
