I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
