Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
