fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
