The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
