If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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