why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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