Need sex. Gaining weight.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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