His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
