i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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