Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
