i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
