sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
