just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize