And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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