dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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