Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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