you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
