I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
nutella sex= disaster
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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