I want to stick my p in your. b.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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