Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize