69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize