Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
