I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
