i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize