Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
She made me pour olive oil on her.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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