K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Come on in and take your pants off
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