you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
