Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
