oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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