I must be too annoying 4 u.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
