wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My vagina is officially offended.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Randomize
