as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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