I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
