I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
