whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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