She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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