he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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