I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
