I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
