She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
