He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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