Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize