You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
