My first STD was from a foam party
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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