I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I think im going to throw up on grandma
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
