I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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