I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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