So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
