"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
