Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I could fuck to npr.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
